What no one tells you about “You can’t do it all”

November 17, 2015

Written By

Tabitha Dumas

You hear it all the time and probably have already learned to accept it…

“You can’t do it all.”

But if you’re like me, you’re still learning that not doing it all can be really, really hard.

In fact, I already wrote about redefining “doing it all.”.

I use to think that not doing it all meant choosing the best over the good. Like “I can’t do ALL of these things, so I’ll choose my favorite things and just do those.”

Nooooo. Now I know the truth.

[tweetthis]Not ‘doing it all’ often means choosing between two best things and one of them simply cannot be pursued.[/tweetthis]

That’s a hard truth to accept.

This hit home a few months ago when I’d attended Life Group in the morning, worked from home for a few hours, picked up the kids from school and dropped them with my mom, zipped over to a Gilbert town council meeting to participate in a flash mob then met my mom and the boys at karate just in time to watch my oldest son earn his new belt.

I sunk into my seat and muttered, “Phew.”

My mom smiled at me. “See? You can do it all,” she said.

I laughed and nodded…then thought for a moment. “Well, not really. Everyone else is at a celebration dinner right now and I’m missing it to be here.”

Alas…you can’t do it all.

As a side note, I left from karate to go to a friend’s house to teach 12 Premier jewelers about “Putting Yourself Out There.” I ALMOST really DID do it all that day!! But like most days, something had to give. In this case, I missed out on the after party in order to support my son.

Yes, you might be able to do the things that are most important to you, but miss the celebration of all your hard work.

Or you might NOT be able to do all the things that are most important to you.

For example, I love my girlfriends and there are some that I haven’t seen in many months and just because I can’t seem to drive across town to see them doesn’t mean that I don’t miss them or don’t want to see them. And I know that them not coming to see me doesn’t meant they don’t care.

A day or so after Mom and I were at karate, we realized that my mom would miss a volunteer appreciation dinner to be able to watch my nephew play football. She can’t do it all, either.

You will actually say “no” to some of the very things you were wishing would come your way years ago.

  • You will look someone in the eye, someone you desperately want to work with, and say, “I can’t do that.”
  • You will turn down truly amazing opportunities.
  • You will give up really important projects.
  • You will have to say “no” for no other reason than just to preserve your sanity.
  • You will constantly have to choose between the good and the better (or two betters!). It will not be easy because they look an awful lot alike!
  • You will be forced to ask for help.
  • You will disappoint people.

You might even miss an opportunity. That’s the hardest one for me because I WANT to do it all. I want to save all the people, work on all the projects and support all the charities! I remind myself that worrying about what I might be missing out on it just fear talking.

I just have to trust that I’m following the right path and that each choice I make is the best I can do at the time…and that’s good enough.

What about you? What have you given up recently? What are you missing out on? What helps you keep going without worrying about missing out? I’d love to read your comments here or on the Facebook page.

Do you know someone struggling with trying to “do it all?” Please pin and share.

What no one tells you about -you can't do it all.- by tabithad.sg-host.com


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