On turning 40

November 27, 2017

Written By

Tabitha Dumas

I turn 40 on November 29th. I remember being a kid and thinking how old my parents seemed when they were in their 30s. It was the 1980s and they were the pastor and wife of Baptist churches in the deep South so compared to today’s parents, they probably were more “old.” I truly cannot wrap my brain around starting a new decade this week so here are my thoughts

on turning 40.

I typically throw myself a party every year for my birthday, mostly to celebrate the people who walked alongside me that year. When I turned 30, I did a fun polka-dot themed slumber party gathering at a local bed and breakfast. One year everyone wore pink, another was celebrated in tandem with Small Business Saturday in downtown Gilbert complete with shopping and pink champagne.

This year is different mainly because I have a newborn.

Even getting a pedicure would be a feat. A spa day or hosting a party is truly impossible. I am sad to miss the opportunity to celebrate the special ladies in my life, although my Life Group will meet the day before and I’m having tea with a few friends that morning (they invited me not realizing it’s my birthday but I accepted because, why not??).

I was hoping to throw myself a party partly to keep my mind off the fact that…I’m turning 40.

40 feels very…middle age…to me.

Your 30s are all about career and babies, your 40s is kind of a “settled in” phase where you raise kids and move up in your job. It just doesn’t seem young anymore in my mind. 

I feel like I can start wearing more comfortable clothes and shoes now, y’know?

The truth is I’ve already started that because I decided a while back that life’s too short to be uncomfortable and I’m more relaxed and authentic when I’m wearing things that are soft and loose.

“Soft and loose,” maybe that’s a good mantra for me for my 40s.

About a year ago, my hubby took the leap to become self employed. If you’re looking for a caring, thorough, committed and hard-working Phoenix valley Realtor, he’s your guy. Our lifestyle changed then and soon after, we discovered we were pregnant. Kate has defined out 2017 and we’re currently adjusting to life with a baby again. It hasn’t left me much head or heart space to process how close I am to a new decade.  

I don’t have plans for my 40s. I know I want to help Drew more and team up with him to grow our non-profit, Desert Sanctum. We want to do more in the local community, too, especially since my activity will be limited because of Kate. I can still meet people, shop, and support local businesses with a baby (hooray)!

Beyond that, I’m just going to embrace 40 like I’ve embraced every birthday before. This year I have everything I ever dreamed of, including a daughter, so I am especially grateful.

Every year just gets better and I’m sure this one will be the same. 4-0. I’m turning 40! It will eventually sink in, right??


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