I was wrong {and why you need a second opinion}

March 20, 2017

Written By

Tabitha Dumas

When was the last time you asked for feedback, had someone critique your work or requested an outsider’s opinion on something you were working on? I know–it can be uncomfortable to get a second opinion.

I am a self-starter, a “get ‘er done” type and a DIY kinda gal BUT I constantly preach about how hard it is to see your own image or content subjectively.

Question: “What is the hardest content to write and edit?”

Answer: “Your own.”

The same is true of editing your wardrobe!

Chances are, you could use a second opinion. Years ago, I needed one and didn’t even know it. Here’s the story.

I call my friend and mentor Shari Braendel’s book “Help me, Jesus! I Have Nothing to Wear!” my color and style Bible.

When I received it in the mail over six years ago, I spent an entire weekend reading it cover to cover and taking detailed notes then implementing many of her suggestions immediately, from buying a new pair of skinny jeans to cutting my hair into a chin-length bob to flatter my face shape (evidence picture below).

tabitha dumas chin length bob shari braendel

Chin length bob, 2010.

I LOVE THIS BOOK and use it almost daily.

I have since helped hundreds of women determine their Dominant Color Category and have set up numerous Pinterest boards centered around helping women wear the right colors.

I’ve also assigned over 300 Signature Colors! Get yours.

There are six categories: light, deep, soft, clear, warm and cool. Knowing your category helps you shop and dress with more focus and saves you a lot of time and money on purchasing items that don’t work for you.

And for many months, I thought I was a Clear. It turns out I was wrong.

This was the night I first met Shari. I was definitely dressed as a Clear! 

I was wrong and why you need a second opinion. -tabithad.sg-host.com phoenix image consultant

Looking at the photo now, it seems obvious to me that the black and white was too overpowering for me. 

Months later, I was hanging out, strategizing and dreaming with Shari and two of her CIC (Christian Image Consultant) graduates and one commented on the top I was wearing. “I just love that top, that color is perfect for a Deep.”

Ugh…say WHAT now?!?! “I’m a Clear!” I told them.

They all stared at me.

“Nope, you’re a Deep,” the other CIC affirmed.

I stared at Shari.

“OK. I’m not leaving this table until you three agree on what I am.” I told them.

So Debbie broke out her light and her drapes and did a color analysis on me right then and there.

“You’re leaning toward a Deep,” Shari said. “It’s your eyes and your skin,” she elaborated.

Let me be clear (pun intended): I do fall somewhere on the borderline of the Clear and Deep categories.

My characteristics are in bold below.

  • DEEP: medium to dark brown or black hair; medium to dark skin tone; hazel, brown or black eyes.

They’re meant to wear medium to deep shades, white or ivory, silver or gold accessories.

  • CLEAR: dark medium brown to black hair; very fair to light or medium skin tone; bright eye color (green, blue or hazel) or dark brown.

They’re meant to wear bright hues, white (not ivory), silver or bright gold accessories.

Come to find out, I am a Deep.

Looking at the descriptions above, it seems fairly obvious that I’m a Deep. My hair is brown but not super-dark, use to be more ash brown and even takes highlights well. My skin has never been very fair or light (although as the years go on, my skin pales and my hair darkens, creating more contrast like Clears have–maybe someday I’ll shift over).

Plus, royal blue is one of Deep’s “pop colors” and has been a color I’ve rocked all my life (including at our son’s birthday party in 2012).

tabitha dumas deep royal blue i was wrong

Rocking the royal blue!

My other “pop colors” are purple (see below), true red and persimmon–all of which I do like and get compliments on when I wear them.

In this picture, I’m wearing a deep shade of purple–a color I’ve always felt fabulous in.

tabitha dumas warm color category purple pop color

And thank goodness…Shari said I could still wear certain shades of bright pink….phew!

“So why did you pick Clear?” Debbie asked.

“Because I like bright colors,” I told her with a shrug.

tabitha dumas tea tiara

Thankfully a color Clear and Deep can wear!

So long, hot pink, sunny yellow and zebra print! I’m not a Clear anymore.

And what about seeking second opinions?

I thought I had me figured out but all it took were some other sets of eyes to see me, literally, in a different light.

It’s hard to write your own bio. It’s hard to edit your own work. It’s hard to know what looks good on you. This is why women usually take a friend when they go shopping!

I encourage you to ask for feedback from people. Let someone take a look at your work and offer some constructive criticism. Take a friend shopping with you, ask someone you trust to give an assessment of your website, or post a few pictures and let people weigh in.

Hire Me! I’d be thrilled to look over your writing project, offer feedback on your wardrobe or critique your next presentation! Work with me

What about you? Are you in need of a second opinion? Leave a comment or hop on over to Facebook to keep the conversation going.


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Latest Posts