Expand Your Influence, My Journey

Do you need to limit yourself?

“Wait…shouldn’t I be reaching for the stars, “going big” and living outside of my comfort zone?? Why would I need to limit myself?” I’m glad you asked. If you are someone living an out there life and hoping to accomplish BIG THINGS, the need to limit yourself is even greater. I ask you…

do you need to limit yourself?

Let me begin with the end in mind.

We need to stop trying to do all the things.

Narrow it down to your top priorities, the skills you are best at and the activities you love most.

Let me state my case (and this is nothing new, you’ll hear it everywhere). THE WORLD NEEDS YOU AND YOUR UNIQUE GIFTS.

Mamas, direct sales reps, small business owners, free lancers, ministry leaders, teachers, crafters…

Whomever you are, your people need you whole, happy and sane.

I hate housework (except laundry). I love helping people. As much as I yearn for a magazine-worthy home and wish I could entertain more, people and relationships will always win out. The effort I’d have to put in to maintain the perfect home and host people regularly would leave very little room for me to meet a friend for coffee, Facebook message encouragement to ladies I know are struggling or send “surprizes” to someone I know needs a lift.

On any given day, I choose to help a woman decide what to wear for her speaking gig before I dust my bookcases.

I prioritize sleep over almost anything else, even though I can function on very little. I know a lack of sleep begins a snowball of anxiety and ill health.

I closely guard my time and energy because I know when I’m stressed, I’m no good to anyone.

You have your own list of what is most important to you.

The issue is if some of these have fallen by the wayside because you

  • are binge watching a Netflix show
  • are making every meal from scratch
  • maintain an immaculate home
  • belong to too many committees

In other words, the important things and your best contribution to the world has been eeked out because you’ve lost focus.

Here’s the thing! The above activities are GREAT if they add to your happiness! But if they leave you no time to take care of yourself, your side hustle or working toward your Big Dream, something needs to give.

These are some of the things I have done over the years to address this, maybe they will inspire you.

  • Instead of dozens of bins of seasonal decor, I have generic pieces like vases, trays, a door bucket, glass hurricanes, etc. that I just swap out the foliage and candles for the season. Way less to store, and way less time spent taking them out and putting them away. 
  • I have my go-to dishes for both entertaining and for potlucks. Unless you love experimenting in the kitchen, have a few things you know you make well and everyone loves and stick to those. So far, no one has said they’re tired of my Southern deviled eggs (I wrote about that here) or my taco soup.
  • I am fully committed to one non-profit, the Gilbert Historical Society. Yes, I support many other charities, non-profits and ministries with both time and money. But rather than spread myself too thin, I decided to “go deep” with the GHS so I sit on the board of directors and the programs committee. I know the people and the people know me. It’s a great fit and a great use of my gifts and talents, plus I just love to be there.
  • I belong to a Life Group. For one, this gives me a close group of women to do life with–EVERY woman needs that. I also don’t serve on the women’s leadership team or attend extra Bible studies because that affords me more time with my ladies.
  • I belong to one networking group full of like-minded people where I get to share, learn and grow. It’s a great fit and saves me many hours and miles attending various groups.
A lot of these reflect my life motto of “go deep with a few instead of shallow with many.”

How many shallow relationships or commitments have changed your life?? Yet that seems to be what people do these days.

The question is two-fold: what is taking away from your well being that you can eliminate or outsource…and what ADDS to your well being that you’ve neglected?

Limiting yourself might be just what you need.

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About Tabitha Dumas

Seeing women showing UP to their life authentically and confidently--THAT is what excites me. I am a strategist, bringer of the fun, trail blazer and agent of encouragement offering creative and effective strategies to help women elevate their image and expand their influence. I'm also a magazine junkie, dedicated wife, fun-loving mama, bargain shopper and story teller trying to use my powers for good in this crazy world. I love my life!
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