When I wrote my Love Your Wardrobe ebook (now in the process of being updated), the main point was to stop obsessing about your “style” and to simply focus on what you enjoy wearing. I’ve thought more about it, and it really does come down to one critical question you need to ask if you say,
“I can’t find my style!”
It has to do with the fabrics you like to feel against your skin…whether you like to wear fitted, tailored items or whether you like things that flow and swoosh…and how you want to move on this terrestrial plain.
The question is…
how do you want to FEEL in your clothes?
It seems like a sort of “out there” or ethereal question, I know. There are many facets to this question and I encourage you to explore them. Do I like my clothes close to my body or to move when I move?
Think…do I prefer a more structured feel…
or more loose?
Notice the setting in the photos above. One is cold, stark and urban while the other is lush, sunny and soft. That’s part of the “feel,” too.
Also notice the difference in the slicked-back hair vs. the floppy hat. What feels better to you?
Do I feel good with collars and cuffs or do they bother me?
What types of garments make me fidget or squirm? What pieces make me want to twirl or dance? (and do I even want to twirl or dance??)
What fabrics do I like? Thick and stiff or soft and light?
For me, I’m finding my style is a bit of a mix, although I like NOTHING tight. This is a style many women are embracing. Structured on the bottom and loose on the top. I added a scarf tied as a vest. This was my birthday and I felt amazing in this ensemble. The tiara helped.
This was my outfit for our 2019 family photos and I loooooved it!
This one is also more recent and includes loose “tulip” pants, a fitted tank and a kimono/jacket. I love this outfit! Kind of “elegant hippie.”
For me, if things are TOO lose, it makes me feel somehow vulnerable or too “out there.” So like in the photo below, I’d wear a fitted camisole underneath to feel a little more “held in.”
Or like here, when I wore a loose dress with tights.
You can see more of my style by clicking on my my style Pinterest board here.
The image below is on my “to my own self be true” Pinterest board and captures, better than almost any other image, how I want to FEEL.
You can see that board here.
Now I don’t love everything about the above image (I don’t do holes in my jeans and I hate mustard yellow) but there’s a casual yet elegant vibe, bold colors and an “I like looking pretty but I don’t take myself too seriously” vibe that I like.
Plus, for my life right now, sitting barefoot on the coach is a wonderful depiction of how I want to spend my time–relaxed, open and settled in. I could volunteer at the boys’ school or teach a class in an outfit like this. My wardrobe needs that kind of flexibility.
Also there are the windows, the mug, the bracelets…they’re all very “me” and represent how I want to walk (or in this case, sit) through life.
That’s what I’m talking about. Knowing how you want to feel in life…AND in your clothes.
So! I encourage you to ponder these questions instead of (or at least before) obsessing about your style.
Here are a few to get you started:
- Describe an outfit you feel good in, that you would wear on your perfect day, or your birthday. Detail the fabric, the colors, the way the pieces fit.
- Do you like clothing to be close to your body, loose, or both?
- What are your favorite fabrics?
- Do you like cuffs? Collars? Belts?
- What were you wearing the last time you felt like dancing?
- What type of shoes do you like? Flats? Heels? Sneakers?
- What types of accessories do you like? Chokers? Long necklaces? Stud earrings? Dangly earrings? Do you like metals or beads?
- How do you typically move? Slowly and thoughtfully? Fast and intentionally? What types of clothing will help you move this way?
- How do you want to feel in your clothes?
I encourage you to have a Pinterest board just for exploring your style and/or one that captures your overall “vibe.”
Your wardrobe extends so far beyond your closet!
I hope this helps you embrace your style and wear clothes that make you happy. Let me know how you’re doing with this, I’d love to know!
Please pin and share.