If I think to myself, “You need to get your act together,” I quickly remind myself that I have no obligation to ACT any certain way. I’m not here to put on a show. If I feel like I have to act, I’m not where I need to be.
In fact, once when my hubby and I were headed to a party, I told him “I’ll behave myself.” He said, “Please don’t.” He went on to explain that when I’m just relaxed and myself, I say goofy stuff and make jokes and people love it but when I try to “behave,” I end up putting my foot in my mouth or being boring. Plus when I “behave” I don’t have much fun. Ever since then when we go somewhere together, I say, “Don’t worry, I won’t behave.”
It’s like the senior photos when my hair was a wreck and I was crazy stressed and my smile was sooooo fake and forced–they were awful and were destroyed immediately then re-taken (with my hair done from a trusted hair dresser–those smiles were genuine).
Naturally there are times we have to “act happy to feel happy” or play a role we don’t feel qualified for. But in general, acting is the opposite of being ourselves and connections are made when we’re real, not when we’re pretending.
To say it another way, we need to stop trying to fit in. We need to stop being who we think people expect us to be. We need to quit faking it.
Look, I’m a pretty “with it” person. I don’t call myself a hot mess. I bet you have a lot going for you, too, and we should celebrate that! Don’t dim your light. Don’t shrink to make others feel better. Buuutttt…you don’t have to keep trying to measure up. You don’t have to “up-level” when you’re perfectly happy with where you are. You don’t have to worry about looking like you’ve got everything dialed in all. the. TIME.
How would it feel to celebrate where you excel and where you are naturally gifted…and admit where you struggle and fall short? Of course the more honest we are, the more honest the people around us have permission to be and that’s far more important than giving the impression that we “have it together.”
If you’ve got it together, embrace it. If you’re falling apart, own it. But let’s stop acting.
Imperfect people are my favorite people. The more quirky, the better! I hope no one ever thinks I’ve got it together all the time–that would definitely mean I’m just playing a part and faking the rest. Or there’s an alien body snatching scenario going on.
I dare you…the next time someone mentions getting their act together, say, “Please don’t.”
One of the great benefits of being and living one’s authentic self, is that one will start drawing genuine and authentic people into their lives.
Tabitha Dumas says
Thank you for that and I agree!
Tabitha Dumas says
I came across one of your posts when I was wanting a different way to tie a scarf. You see for 11 years I had to wear red shit and Kacky pants then when I left that job a few months later I ended up working a job that I could wear what I wanted as long as I look ok. It was great several years just before I had weighted over 300lbs. I could express my self through clothes I have never been very out going do this was good for me. I now find myself at an other job were I must wear red shirts and black pants so I have been adding scarfs to my look I get one or more complement each time I work and I feel great people that are close to me know that I only spent $1 on most of the from dollar tree.