Only fall in love once

October 25, 2016

Written By

Tabitha Dumas
This post is for all the single ladies. I know it’s not for everyone but it’s a choice I made: to only fall in love once.

“You’ve only loved one man??” you ask?

No. I loved three guys before I met my husband and that doesn’t include my one boyfriend.

Allow me to explain.

As a teen and young woman, I had three best guy friends (along with two best girlfriends) from about the ages of 13 to 23. They were each special to me for different reasons.

Over the years, all three of them told me they loved me and I reciprocated. It’s such a great feeling.

Only fall in love once.

At age 20, I dated a guy for almost a year that I met at church. The night we broke up, I knew he was going to either propose or dump me. He dumped me and I’m so glad he did. I never loved him and I knew he didn’t love me. 

Truthfully, the only guy I might have been tempted to fall in love with was the aforementioned boyfriend. But I guarded my heart and waited on him to sort out his feelings. I’m so thankful I did because on the night we broke up, we stayed up late into the night talking and laughing and we still remain in touch to this day. 

I hadn’t given him my heart. We hadn’t slept together. So there was no heartbreak, no regrets, no week long mourning period with ice cream and chick flicks. And no rebound.

Fall in love once. Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Prov. 4-23

Along the way, I kissed a lot of guys. It was kind of my “thing.” Yes, the “good girl pastor’s daughter” made out with a lot of random dudes.

Looking back, I think it’s how I kept them at arm’s length. It’s also how I tested the waters without committing. 

I dated a few guys, too. On the beach one balmy evening, a certain fellow promised to give me anything I wanted if I chose to be with him. He had a foul mouth and was rude to a waitress (among other issues) so that was a no-go.

Knowing I only wanted to fall in love once, if I started to see red flags, I ended it.

I wasn’t going to fall for a guy who wasn’t “the one.”

Deciding to only fall in love once saves you a lot of heartache.

Only fall in love once.

Here’s the thing.

You’re a really phenomenal woman. Any man would be fortunate to have you.

Men are going to woo you and pursue you. They’re smart. They’re not going to let you slip away. They’ll pour on the romance. They’ll make you promises. They’ll ask you to move in with them. They’ll convince you to stay.

It’s up to you to decide if they are worthy of your love.

And for me, the only man worthy was the man willing to commit “I will love you my whole life. You and no other” which is exactly what my husband vowed to me on our wedding day in 2002.

You deserve that, too.

Your heart is too fragile, too sacred to give away to the wrong people. It’s never too late to only fall in love once.

Only fall in love once.



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