As dreamers, doers, entrepreneurs, givers, WOMEN…we can often focus on everything and everyone except ourselves and our own needs.
Do you know what you want? I finally do!
Over four years ago, I was “between opportunities” and feeling stuck. A woman I like and respect very much knew that I was struggling with direction and she asked me, “What do you want?”
I’ve struggled with that question ever since.
It’s easy to live someone else’s dream for your life so it’s important to come back to the question of “What do I want?” I’ve revisited it many times over the years.
“What do you want?” has plagued me.
For my birthday in 2013, I assembled some of my most trusted friends and advisers and they asked me, “What do you want?” I stumbled over the answer. “A life of peace,” I finally told them. While that is true…but I knew there was more to it, more to what I want NOW.
A year ago when I was investing in some much-needed coaching (highly recommended with Coach Erin by the way), I had to tackle the question again. “What do you want?” I came up with the answers I needed to keep moving forward but I still kept wondering, “What do I really want??”
When our church recently read The Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears, we were encouraged to tell God what we want. It’s hard to pray specifically when you don’t know what you want. And I didn’t know.
I’ve been searching and searching.
People ask me, “What do you want?”
I say, “I don’t know.”
They say, “Yes, you do!” as if I know the answer, but keep it stuffed deep down inside, unwilling to recognize it or own it.
So I gave up arguing with people. I really didn’t know.
Can you believe that I didn’t have the answer until TODAY?
For 2015, I decided to add more of a faith component to my blog. I also knew that I wanted to step away from the world of small business copywriting. It’s been slow going. But I kept feeling a draw to get back to the whole-istic life and business that is part of my vision.
Last night, I got talking to a friend and she said, “So why don’t you start something that’s more of a ministry, and just add it to your website?” She suggested that I keep it separate from the business aspect of what I do and let it grow on its own. The ministry would be more of a hobby and the business would stay business.
I played with it before I went to bed and had visions of this “new venture” as I drifted off to sleep. I dreamed of logos, a new domain name, hash tags, marketing copy…I was excited about it.
Then this morning, somewhere between washing my hair and putting my shoes on to leave, it hit me: I don’t WANT a free-standing “ministry.” I don’t want to add a component to my website. I don’t WANT a new dot com to manage, a new name, a new focus, a new funnel. I also don’t want another hobby or side project.
I don’t want to meet with clients and market my business over here…then talk about faith and God over there.
That’s not me. That’s not what I’m about. That’s inauthentic, and probably why I’ve felt a little “off” for all these years, being unsure of what I want.
I want to do everything I’m doing…everything…and honor ALL the facets of my life and business. I want to live a whole-istic life and run a whole-istic business, where all the parts contribute to the whole and nothing is compartmentalized. And I want to inspire other women to create whole-istic lives and businesses, too.
I want to talk about home, family, makeup, marketing, friendship, style and business. I want to talk more about where I fall short and struggle and hear where you struggle so we can commiserate (and help each other). I want to create community and collaboration. I want to encourage, inspire, strategize and teach.
I want to be me–all the parts of me–all the time. Business, blogging, faith, beauty…the whole deal. THAT is what I want.
Phew. That was a long time coming.
What do YOU want?
That will be my new question for every client…“What do you want?”
If you know, start owning it. Start Showing UP and being seen. If you need help showing UP, let’s talk.
If you don’t know? Keep asking, seeking and knocking. Don’t stop asking the question. You could wake up tomorrow and have the answer. If you need a little clarity like I did last year, talk to Coach Erin!
I’ve already warned you…CAUTION: Authenticity Ahead.
Now that I know what I want, there’s no stopping me. I’m excited to be on this journey with you.
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