Faith, Motherhood, My Journey

Borrowed hope

The running theme throughout the four-plus years we tried to get pregnant was “keep your hopes up.” You can read about it here. It would’ve been so easy to get discouraged and there were times we considered giving up. There were people surrounding us, however, that had plenty of hope to spare and believed we’d get our baby. That’s when borrowed hope comes into play.

Borrowed hope

I’m twelve weeks pregnant and still have a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that a tiny new human is growing in my belly. God said it was good!

I had accepted that it might not be in God’s plan for us to have another baby but I felt strongly that I should keep my hopes up unless and until I was sure it wasn’t.

I had always envisioned myself with more than one kid, maybe three or four. But when we didn’t get pregnant again right away, I’d think, “I have two healthy, strong, adorable, fun sons…it’s awfully audacious of me to ask for more!”

Then there’s the girl thing.

I have always wanted a daughter. My mom and I are close and she’s close to her sister and mom (as am I). In fact, all my aunts have daughters. There’s so much I want to experience with a daughter and so much I want to teach her.

Rest assured, we requested a girl this time. But just like accepting that it might not be in God’s plan, I haven’t attached myself to the idea of a girl.

Several times in two days, friends went out of their way to tell me they believe we’re having a girl.

What they meant was, they know I’ve been hoping for a girl and they’re holding out hope on our behalf.

One dear friend and mentor even sent this package.

Borrowed Hope. Grow like a wild flower box tabithadumas.com

The dress is Polly Flinders, known for their exquisite smocking, and very popular in the south where I grew up. I wore Polly Flinders dresses as a baby. Opening the box made me cry then when I lifted the dress out and saw the bloomers, it took my breath away.

Borrowed Hope -tabithadumas.com

Baby girls wear bloomers. What if we actually got a baby girl?!?

A little while later standing in the shower, I was reminded of the moments I spent in the shower before I saw the positive pregnancy test, when I told God, “I’ll keep my hopes up!”

I felt a gentle nudge of, “I fulfilled that desire of your heart with this pregnancy. Why not with a baby girl?” 

and I cried.

I’m going to allow for the possibility that this baby is a boy and we have a baby girl still in our future. But thank God for friends who believe we will get our heart’s desire for a daughter. Borrowed hope is a powerful thing. And pretty darn cute, too.

Read the update!

Boy or girl?

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About Tabitha Dumas

Seeing women showing UP to their life authentically and confidently--THAT is what excites me. I am a strategist, bringer of the fun, trail blazer and agent of encouragement offering creative and effective strategies to help women elevate their image and expand their influence. I'm also a magazine junkie, dedicated wife, fun-loving mama, bargain shopper and story teller trying to use my powers for good in this crazy world. I love my life!
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