Motherhood

The best mothering decision I ever made was before they were even born

Yes, that’s right…the best mothering decision I ever made was before my boys were even born.

It wasn’t their name (Andrew IV was a given anyway). It wasn’t related to a particular parenting philosophy. And it had nothing to do with immunizations, circumcision or sleeping arrangements.

Before I ever got pregnant, I decided that my babies would never belong to me, they would belong to God.

I grew up embracing the belief that my money belongs to God, not to me. He is the Source. My clients and projects are the channel. It doesn’t belong to me, which is what makes it easier to give Him back the 10% He asks of me. It’s easy to release what was never mine.

My kids are not mine. An essay on the best mothering decision I ever made by tabithadumas.com

I realized that children are the same.

My kids are God’s, not mine.ย 

I prayed, “Lord, if you grant me children, they will be Yours.”

It has helped me hold things in life more loosely. If you squeeze a living thing too tightly, you squeeze the life right out of it.

My kids are not mine. An essay on the best mothering decision I ever made by tabithadumas.com

I don’t obsess about my kids. I don’t worry about them. I’ve never been a helicopter mom and I choose my battles.

The battles are few, trust me.

I don’t place my fears and expectations on them. If they want to become a surgeon, an artist, a park ranger, a stay-at-home dad…fine by me. They’re not mine.

Marriage, kids, college, where they live, how THEY choose to parent…that’s their decision. I’m not going to let all my hopes and dreams ride on that.

I started long ago protecting against “empty nest syndrome.” I’m not going to turn their bedroom into a sewing room the day they move out (I don’t even sew but I hope to learn) but I’m going to live up to my potential and pursue my own interests instead of letting their hobbies and activities take over my life.

I’m so glad my boys aren’t mine.

My kids are not mine. An essay on the best mothering decision I ever made by tabithadumas.com

Knowing they belong to God means I do try my best to steward them with grace and wisdom, just as I do with my money. And when I had a miscarriage in 2008, I revisited the idea that my children are not mine and it made the grieving a little easier. Trying to get pregnant to no avail for over three years is a little easier, too, knowing He is in control, not me.*****

True confession…our boys are incredible. I won’t be so audacious as to list all the reasons I think so but

I truly believe that because I’ve been obedient in turning over my control of them to God, He honors that.

I know it’s not because I’m Super Mom–I gave that up The Day Super Mom Died.

So I know it’s God.

He is guiding them, directing them and making their path straight because I’m not prodding and driving them obsessively myself.

It’s amazing what can happen when I let go.

I’d be honored if you pinned and shared.

The best mothering decision I ever made was before they were even born. Tabitha Dumas faith blogger

The best mothering decision I ever made. Tabithadumas.com

*****UPDATE SEPTEMBER 2019*****

Our “trying to get pregnant” lasted until January 2017! I used the 1 Samuel verse to tell my husband the news! Our little Kate belongs to the Lord, too.

My children belong to The Lord. The best mothering decision I ever made was before they were even born. Tabitha Dumas faith blogger

About Tabitha Dumas

Seeing women showing UP to their life authentically and confidently--THAT is what excites me. I am a strategist, bringer of the fun, trail blazer and agent of encouragement offering creative and effective strategies to help women elevate their image and expand their influence. I'm also a magazine junkie, dedicated wife, fun-loving mama, bargain shopper and story teller trying to use my powers for good in this crazy world. I love my life!
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