Do you believe you are beautiful? (really?)

September 8, 2016

Written By

Tabitha Dumas
Do you believe you are beautiful?

Sometimes in the middle of a closet consult, after I’ve heard descriptors like “fat cow” and “hot mess” and statements like, “I’m disgusting” or “nothing looks good on me,” I want to look my lady in the eye and ask, “Do you believe you are beautiful? Really?”

We are told so many lies about beauty.

To be beautiful, you have to…

  • be thin
  • be flawless
  • be youthful
  • wear makeup
  • be smiling
  • have the right skin tone

Pimples, too much “fluff,” unruly hair, even being shy can disqualify you.

You have a birth mark? Still beautiful.

Your political opinions are unpopular? Still beautiful.

You wear all black? Still beautiful.

You’re shy? Still beautiful.

You’re overweight or underweight? Still beautiful.

You’re eating a cheeseburger and fries alone in the car? Yup, still beautiful.

You’re sweaty after working out? Still beautiful.

Being raised in the South where my 90-year-old grandmother still won’t go to Walgreens without her makeup on, hair coiffed and wearing a coordinated outfit and accessories, I was convinced I’d never get married if my beau ever saw me without being “dressed.”

A natural beauty I am not (it’s not low self esteem, I just have visible pores, uneven skin tone and dark circles under my eyes) so I had strict rules as a young woman about never being seen without makeup on at the very least.

Imagine my chagrin when my soon-to-be boyfriend (we’d been at a get-together the night before where a certain Canadian was hitting on me–nothing like competition to get a guy moving) showed up unannounced on my door step on a Sunday morning. Oops, I blew my cover.

He still asked me to be his girlfriend that day and we had our first kiss. Even, GASP!, without my makeup on! 

I’ve served, worked and played alongside thousands of women in my lifetime and I’ve done color consults and makeUpdates for hundreds of them.

Every time, it strikes me that the woman in front of me is beautiful. Truly deep down beautiful.

It can be when she looks in the mirror after trying a new makeup look, when she finally tries on an outfit that just feels right or when she’s telling me about her kids or her husband…I just think, “She is so beautiful. I hope she knows that.” 

Butterflies can't see their own beauty.

There are no qualifiers. No disclaimers. No exceptions.

You are beautiful whether you’re having a good or a bad day. You are beautiful in your just-woke-up state. You are beautiful when you are mad, sad, thrilled, frustrated, strong, weak…

Do you believe you are beautiful?

You are beautiful just because you exist.

You can tell yourself, “I am beautiful” even when you’re not looking in the mirror.

Nothing can make you less beautiful because it is about who you are, not how you look.

I hope you believe that.

You are beautiful simply because you exist. Do YOU believe you are beautiful-


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