Why are we afraid to believe big?

The question, why are we afraid to believe big? has been a recurring theme in my life for a while now. I’m convinced that our stories of Kate’s pregnancy (it took four years of trying plus, well, an entire lifetime of wanting a daughter), her sweet gender reveal and her blessed arrival were orchestrated by God to inspire people to believe again and start expecting miracles.

Why are we afraid to believe big?

A dear friend who is in her mid thirties and would love to be married and starting a family isn’t even dating anyone yet. She wonders if and when her time will come, even as all of her friends are getting married and having babies.

Another friend has a disabled son and stopped praying for his sight to return.

Yet another friend has been married for eight years, was diagnosed with PCOS and has been told she’s likely to never be able to get pregnant yet she desperately wants to be a mom.

All three of them recently expressed to me this feeling of, “I use to believe it was going to happen but I just kind of gave up.”

Too much time goes by. Too many discouraging things happen.

The friend with the disabled son recently felt God ask her, “When did you give up hope?”  She hadn’t even realized she’d just stopped believing it could happen.

Too many other people get their yes or their miracle and it feels like there are none left over.

At my Blessingway, I talked about how what burdens me is women struggling with fertility and pregnancy issues (find it here). I feel that part of my journey with Kate has to do with stepping more into the role of mentor, advocate and connector…to a level that is beyond me. I am up for the challenge.

Instead of asking, “Why me??” I’m asking, “Why NOT me??”

That spoke to my friend with the disabled son. Other people have been healed of blindness…why NOT her son?? 

We should not be afraid to believe big.

It might be different if we were believing for, say, winning the lottery.

But God loves giving His children gifts! He enjoys surprising and delighting us! He gets a kick out of going above and beyond.

He said to me during this pregnancy, when I wondered if–thrill of thrills–I’d actually get a daughter… “I gave you this pregnancy, why not the girl, too?”

Then as we reached full term and surpassed Kate’s due date, I began to wonder, “Is it really possible that her labor and birth will be easy like that last one??” I got pregnant…I got the girl…could I also get the birth I wanted? Turns out YES. (want proof? I did a Facebook Live at 9cm dilation like it was any other Tuesday afternoon)

God’s resources never dry up. You can’t “over believe.”

He hasn’t allocated five big gifts for your lifetime and, oh darn, they’re all used up.

That time He healed Grandma? That was your last. Or…He’s saving the last few for when you pray for your grandkids. 

I know how it feels to have your hopes up and experience the Divine Delay (I wrote about it here). I see it all the time with women who are hoping they’re pregnant. They express “I really, really think I am but I’ll feel so dumb if it’s not true!”

It goes beyond feeling dumb if you believe big and are let down…it’s about experiencing that staggering full body slam when it doesn’t happen…again.

When you’re trying to get pregnant, you can ride that roller coaster every month and “trying” again the next month means risking the same crushing disappointment.

It’s the same for everything in life. No one wants to be disappointed again. And again. And again.

The relationship break-up, the bad report from the doctor, yet another birthday without a special someone…it’s devastating. No one wants to put their self through that again! 

It’s easy to be afraid to dream big. It’s easy to give up.

That’s all I can say to the dreamers and miracle-believers out there…don’t give up.

One chance meeting, one test result, one phone call, one positive pregnancy test and it all turns around in a moment.

When we finally got pregnant with Kate, I fell on my face in the bathroom and thanked God. I was so happy I was able to believe big and not give up. 

I don’t want to think about what would have happened if I’d given up.

There have been God fingerprints all over this entire year and I try not to downplay even the smallest “God nods.” As my mom often says…

Example. At my Blessingway (read about it here), I entered through this “arch of friendship.” It was probably my favorite moment of the day.

Six days later, several of the same women prayed gratitude and blessing over Kate at Life Group. I commented, “Maybe her birth was so easy because of that arch of friendship she entered through” and we all got chills. I believe that!

Her onsie even said, “I’m proof that God answers prayers.”

That’s just one of dozens of stories. Am I reading too much into it? Guilty. 

So let’s help each other keep hope alive. Let’s believe big on one another’s behalf!

Let’s be honest about the things we’ve let go of, the things we thought were just not meant to be. Let’s reignite hope and make miracles happen!

I’d love to believe big with you…reach out to me via social media or email tabitha@tabithadumas.com so we can hope together!