The concept of waiting on God can seem like a cliche or a platitude–it’s easy to tell people to wait on God’s perfect timing when you’re not the one waiting. But if you’re like me, you’ve noticed that most of life is about about the in-betweens. You’ve cast the vision, you’ve said the prayers, your hopes are up, you’re even taking steps and making progress…but there’s this Divine Delay. You’re just not there yet. The end is even in sight but seems so far away. Or maybe it feels like you’re totally stuck and it’s never going to happen!
Waiting on God
I’ve already written about the importance of borrowed hope. We need each other! Why?
Four years is a long time. That’s a lot of “trying,” a lot of negative pregnancy tests, a lot of wondering, “Can I ride this roller coaster ride one more time?” Most people stopped asking if we were having more kids. There were months when we were just over it. But every time my fertile phase came around again, all I could think was, “No regrets.” I did not want to look back and wish I’d tried harder. Better said…I didn’t want to stop waiting on God.
Waiting on God can be wearing and wearying and can exhaust the strongest person.
Allow me to insert one thing here. There was a part of me that wondered if God was waiting for ME to get my act together.
Sometimes God IS refining us, maturing us, waiting for us to get into alignment with His plan or teaching us something (you know those mountains you have to lap around multiple times?).
But sometimes there is simply a Divine Delay. We might never know why. And maybe there isn’t even an answer we can comprehend.
Our other pregnancies were perfectly timed (two “took” on the first try) so who was I to doubt this one would be perfectly timed, too?
So what happened? We conceived during the week before Christmas. Trust me when I tell you that getting pregnant wasn’t at the top of my priority list that week. I can’t say that I “had my act together.” I’m pretty sure I was more focused on hosting dinners, buying stocking stuffers and figuring out where I hid that one present than on whatever type of “ready” I thought I needed to be.
That’s why I waited several days to take the pregnancy test. Wasn’t I going to get pregnant because I was super-duper focused on it, emotionally and physically ready and “right with God?” And not a moment sooner?
Thank God He doesn’t always wait on US.
So this was my 2016 vision board. With a pink pregnant belly front and center. I don’t even remember where the pregnant lady image came from.
It was something I envisioned for my 2016 and as of my vision board workshop on December 28th, 2016, it hadn’t come to fruition. I even said to the ladies in attendance, “Well, that’s obviously not happening.” I didn’t even put the pregnant belly on my 2017 board that day.
I was holding out hope but I wasn’t holding my breath.
My dear friend Patty was at the vision board workshop and went out of her way to tell me she believed we would get that baby. She was holding out hope.
Little did she know…..
About a week later, I added the baby to my 2017 board to announce to Facebook that we were, indeed, pregnant.
I couldn’t wait to tell Patty and of course she was thrilled. She didn’t say, “I told you so.” I think she graciously said, “I knew you would get the desire of your heart.”
She attended the gender reveal to find out God also granted our desire for a GIRL. And she was at my Blessingway, when we told the above story. Only God.
Fast-forward to August when I was planning my maternity portraits.
I went through my closet, tried on some outfits for my mom and sent the pictures to my photographer and even looked at long, ethereal dresses on Pinterest when I suddenly remembered this dress that I wore in my sister-in-law’s wedding years ago. Long…flowy…convertible…and PINK.
My photographer agreed…it was perfect.
One day in my office a week or so before our portrait session, I glanced over at that vision board and gasped.
It was The Dress.
On the left? That’s me at my maternity portrait session. It’s uncanny, isn’t it?
Here’s another one. I admired this artwork when I was newly pregnant. I didn’t know my mom sneakily purchased it for me, then held onto it until my Blessingway. It now hangs in Kate’s nursery nook.
There’s The Dress again.
Sometimes when God grants us the desires of our hearts, He likes to give us a tangible reminder, too. I call them “God nods.”
The reminder is God is with us, He is for us and He is working on our behalf…even when we can’t see it.
I don’t understand God’s timing. I’ve gotten easy yeses and hard nos that I can’t explain. Waiting on God is the ultimate faith walk.
Matthew 7:7-8 says “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”
The implication there is to KEEP asking, KEEP seeking, KEEP knocking. For as long as it takes.
For me, the important thing is holding out hope. And to keep on the look-out for sign posts like The Dress that tell me I’m on the right track.