It’s a big question. Is beauty inside out or outside in?
Does an inner transformation affect the way a woman looks…or does changing the way a woman looks transform her inside?
For me, the better question is, “When a woman wants to ‘put herself out there,’ do we start on the inside or the outside?”
A lot of my ladies come to me because they need a confidence boost.
Sometimes they’re shaking in their boots but they need to launch a business, get a new head shot or start networking so they know they need to look polished and put-together to put their best face forward.
Trust me when I tell you that every woman has physical insecurities, whether it’s her skin, her curves or her wavy hair. I’ve seen it all–but only after they point it out. Chubby arms, calves that are too short, wide backs, flat feet, you name it. I’m focused on the beautiful woman in front of me but they’re hitching up their pants to show me their flabby knees. Wha…?!
So we all struggle.
But if these women have accepted their “flaws” and are living vibrant, joy-filled lives, a snazzy jacket or the perfect shade of lipstick is all they need to take over the world.
And there are plenty of women who look like plain Janes who are perfectly happy and well-adjusted. I’m not going to hold them down while I paint their nails red or forcibly zip them up into a leopard-print dress!
In a perfect world, all of us would “show up” in life as a reflection of our inner confidence.
The problem is with the ladies who look like fashionistas and project a kick butt persona but who are insecure, frightened, vulnerable little girls on the inside.
Or the ladies who complain about their wide hips but truly do feel disgusted when they look in the mirror.
New makeup and a cute outfit are a temporary fix if there are inner battles being fought.
Here are my thoughts.
- A temporary fix is often necessary to help a woman achieve her goals. You can be insecure but still look fabulous for your photoshoot.
- All of us are working on our insides. We can project a polished image while our insides catch up. It’s not fake, it’s just embracing the role while we’re auditioning for the part.
- Often outer changes influence how we feel and function so switching from sweats to dresses could be truly transforming.
Today we try a bold berry shade of lipstick, tomorrow we sign up for that class we’ve always wanted to take and before long, we’re teaching the class.
My advice is, work on the outside and inside simultaneously. If you can take a month to journal and pray while wearing your pajamas, go for it. If you want to try wearing suits to work while you work up the nerve to ask for that promotion, have at it.
Whether beauty is inside out or outside in, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you keep moving forward.
It’s all a work in progress and you’re doing a beautiful job.